Gluttony

Quoth the Reverend:

Gluttony is a sin.  Repent you sinner!

The liberal whiner replied:

Shut up.  I have Binge Eating Disorder.

That means: I’m a Sacred Cow.

My victimization is my salvation,

In Asperger’s name, Amen.

The New Republican Governor of New Jersey interrupted:

Loser! I’m a glutton, and I’m proud of it!

I eat everybody else out of house and home

because I know I’m worth it!

But Barack Obama, never to be outdone,

filled the room with fourteen packs of smoke,

then proudly proclaimed,

“damn right I’m  a chain-smoker,

and your damn right that my habit

costs more than Chris Cristie’s,

and I can’t quit because

I kn0w I’m worth it!

I’m worth more than Chris Cristie,

but Chris, don’t feel blue,

just keep the bailout money coming,

and I’ll keep you exempt from fat taxes.”

Weight hell II

You can never be too thin.

Every time you eat or drink anything that has calories in it, there is danger that you will gain weight.

So, the thinner you are, the longer you can eat before you have to start taking desperate measures to stop your weight gain.

If you don’t eat calories, you get headaches, you feel weak, you lose muscle mass, you’re sensitive to the cold, you’re vulnerable to infection, and you may faint, and that interferes with your work, so, you have to eat calories.  Dread!

However …

If you’re a model, or a celeb, or a hooker, or a non-butch homo, you don’t have to do any real work.  You don’t even have to get dressed; if you’re skinny enough, your employer or “lover” will do that for you!  All you have to do is

Stop eating!

You gotta go on a ‘desperation diet’ because … it’s all about sex for money.

Weight hell

You can never be thin enough.

Unless you have

Perpetual Gastric Distress!

Then you can eat to your heart’s content

Because you never feel like eating!

The life of an anorexic revolves around the bathroom.  For ‘anorexic’, substitute pop star,  model,  bulimic,  ana-mia,  enema-ia,  pregnant teenage girl,  drug addict,  sex addict,  masturbation addict, gayorexic,  LGBTs in general.

LGBTs?

Let’s face it. You gotta be obsessed, to be an LGBT.  Especially a T, because T is a tremendous amount of torture and mutilation.  The Trans-sexual passage is way beyond masochistic!

One has to wonder, who could be so cruel as to brainwash someone to become a T?  The T’s will blame God, but that’s part of their brainwashing.

Librarians, I have observed, are often skinny.  Not what one would expect, given that library work seems not physically demanding.  Or is it?  Librarians must sort and shelve many books every day, and rarely sit down.  Food and beverages other than water are strictly prohibited in the library.